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By Lux Alptraum Ms. Alptraum is a writer. Nearly two decades later, it would seem that those rules are still in effect. After surfacing on Reddit, an image purporting to be a self portrait snapped by Ms.

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Living In Between Fat and Thin For a brief time, when I was just a kid, my idea of beauty was synonymous with my mother and the moles speckled along her back. There were too many other ideas: glossy magazine spreads, infomercials for magic weight-loss pills, that scene of Oprah equating the weight she had lost to chunks of fat she rolled out in a wagon, and Britney Spears circa , emerging from a curtain of jewels and beads with her flat, tanned belly in low-rise pants on the cover of her second album, Oops! Of course, I was the girl who deliberately turned from the mirror before getting dressed. I was the girl who wore a sports bra for most of the early s just to avoid seeing the shape of my breasts. Until that moment last year in my living room, I had rarely been naked unless I had to be.

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Queer feminist and occasional sock-wearer. I hope to god you discovered this through conversations with friends or family, and not through somebody begging you for naughty pictures. Nobody told me not to do it. I had just turned 13 when a guy friend started sending me messages with increasingly sexual tones.

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Or the money. I figured you were withdrawn around everyone, not just me. Why rehash a one-time event that would make it awkward between you and Jolie when it didn't seem to bother you?" "But it did. Very much so. " How I kept my voice even, I have no idea.

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But at the same time, I felt ashamed that I couldn't find the heart to tell him the truth. I was still awake an hour later when the light went off.

When the apartment went back to its silent watch for the night. It was the same routine on Sunday. Chris was gone by morning, his bedding neatly folded on the ottoman.

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